i will never coherently bang her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
