Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
