why didn't you poke me back
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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