I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
