A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
