you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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