well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
