I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
