So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
