she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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