I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
