**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
