My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
