I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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