is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
