She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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