Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
