put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
