My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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