my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why do cheetos always look like penises
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
