so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
