I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
