Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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