im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
