Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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