There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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