He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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