if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
