So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
