Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
