R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
