Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
