Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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