So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
