I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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