I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
