i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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