we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
