My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
