So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
