But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
