Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
