I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
