sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
