My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
