She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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