We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
