It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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