went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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