i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
