Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
