no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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