So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
